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Q: What do you get if you see a Spurs fan buried up to his neck in sand?
A: More sand.
3. Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Man Utd striker Wayne Rooney?
A: Clinton can score.
Q: What's the difference between West Ham and an albatross?
A: An albatross has got two decent wings.
A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored judge said to him "So why don't you want to live with your dad?"
"Because he beats me" said the little boy.
"Why don't you want to live with your mum then?" asked the judge.
Because she beats me aswell.
"Oh" said the judge "Well who would you like to live with then?"
The little boy replied" I would like to live with Liverpool FC, because they don't beat anyone!!"
Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan with an IQ of 10?
A: Supremely gifted!
A Fulham supporter goes to his doctor to find out what's wrong with him.
"Your problem is you're fat, "says the doctor.
"I'd like a second opinion" responds the man.
"OK, you're ugly too" replies the doctor.
4 surgeons are taking a tea break:
1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says "Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon says "Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them is colour coded."
4th surgeon says "I prefer Tottenham fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and a**es are interchangeable."
Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q. What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Emirates.
Rafael Benitez: "Our new Winger cost five million. I call him our wonder player"
Sir Alex Ferguson: "Why's that?"
Rafael Benitez: "Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"
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